JUSTIN...I WILL TELL YOU THIS. THE SADNESS AND THE TEARS YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SIN IS JESUS HOLY SPIRIT LIVING WITHIN YOU, TEACHING YOU, CONVICTING YOU. THINK ABOUT IT, THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE LOST WORLD WHO DO MAJOR GRIEVOUS EVILS AND SINS EVERY DAY WITHOUT A THOUGHT OR CARE OR ANY SENSE OF REPENTANCE OR REGRET FOR WHAT THEY DID...SOME MAY REGRET THEY WERE CAUGHT AND/OR A FACING LEGAL JUSTICE FOR IT, BUT THEY HAVE NO HEART CONVICTION OR SHAME AND SORROW FOR THEIR SINS OR EVILS. THAT YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR FAILINGS IS DUE TO JESUS LIVING WITHIN YOUR HEART. JESUS IS A PATIENT FATHER. HE KNOWS YOU. HE KNOWS YOUR WEAKNESS AND YOUR SINS. HE IS TEACHING YOU TO REALIZE YOUR FAILINGS. THAT IS A GOOD THING. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT SAVED.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY A PREACHER TELLS YOU HE HAD TO GO TO THE ALTAR MANY TIMES BEFORE JESUS FINALLY SAVED HIM. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES. JESUS SAYS CALL ON MY NAME AND YOU SHALL BE SAVED. YOUR SALVATION, BEING SAVED IS BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS DID ON THE CROSS. JESUS SAVES. NO ALTAR, NO PASTOR AND YOU CAN NOT SAVE YOURSELF. IT IS A GIFT FROM JESUS.
FEELING SAVED IS NOT THE SAME AS TRUSTING JESUS, HAVING FAITH IN JESUS WORD AND HIS PROMISE TO HEAR AND TO SAVE YOU.
BUT BEING SAVED, MEANS JESUS ACCEPTS YOU JUST AS YOU ARE, BUT HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH TO LEAVE YOU JUST AS YOU ARE. HE WANTS YOU TO WALK FREE. SO HIS HOLY SPIRIT LIVING WITHIN YOU IS SHOWING YOU, TEACHING YOU, AND REMINDING YOU ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON ...WHAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE.
TAKE TIME WITH JESUS...READ HIS WORD...TALK WITH JESUS. ASK HIM TO HELP YOU TO BE BETTER AND OVER TIME HE WILL. BEING SAVED IS NOT AN INSTANT CHANGE IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE. IT TAKES TIME. JESUS IS A PATIENT FATHER.